So I walked pass the table where a 6year old me sat and told my mother with a full smiling face that her I will buy her a motor car, in the same vein I walked pass that football field where I threw a big ball at daddy and told him I will build him plenty mansion(in that little girl's voice). I walked also by that that round table where a 12 year old me sat and hit my chest hard telling my siblings how I will make them proud.
Along the line all the hopes of doing these things seems so impossible, life hits me do hard, I got lost in the journey or maybe I am still lost but in the middle of all this and like that little girl now at 22 I still plan on being the best mum to my children , be a wonderful woman to my husband and that insanely sane woman the world would one day know for Good.
Although the vibe to believe in myself is absent, most times I feel like I don't belong here and that I should leave, depression holds me hostage; many seems to see me as a whole bag of trouble but you know what; I am not going to believe in myself because I no longer trust what life would offer next and how I would handle it.. All I will do is believe in that little girl that promise momma a car,I would believe in that happy baby girl that promised papa many mansions and that dream oriented child that's wants to make her siblings; That cheerful young lady that wants to be a good wife,a great mother and be a good story the world would someday read to the next generations.
I don't care if I don't get to drive a car but mama must drive one bought with my hard earned money, papa must live in that mansion I would get him, my siblings must see me and scream to the world: oh! That's my sister. My kids will have something sweet to say to the world about me and my husband must be the luckiest man on earth and lastly my name must be in the history of the world of how I stood against all trails to make all that happens..
So till then if the strength to believe in myself is lost this promises and dreams will be my muse and motivation.
So likewise of the thought of giving up on yourself is lingering in your heart please believe and trust in those promise you made and dreams you had...They must be fulfill and achieved...
#just believe...
#happy new year series
#thediaryofthebrokengirl.
I'm heywhy...
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